Анекдоты на английском языке, лингвистические

Юмор -> Анекдот № 3890

Будьте добры сигареты and спички. Ничего, что я по–английски?

Анекдот № 3889

This couple board this jetliner for a trip to New York.
The jetliner gets full of passengers and they are to go but, they notice that there are no attendants or pilots.
The door closes and the jetliner starts taxing down the taxiway towards the runway and starts to take off as they are airborne the intercom says:
Welcome to flight 1313 non stop to New York as you can see there are no attendants and or pilots this aircraft is totally computerized so sit back and enjoy the flight because there is nothing that can go wrong go wrong go wrong go wrong...

Анекдот № 3888

A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and his Personal Psychic Adviser tells him: "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."
The frog is thrilled, "This is great!
Will I meet her at a party?"
"No," says his Adviser, "in her biology class."

Анекдот № 3887

Teacher: Name two days of the week that start with "T".
Pupil: Today and Tomorrow.

Анекдот № 3886

- What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law?
- There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.

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